During the Summer for 2012. in-between attending Hofstra University and Queens College, I knew that I needed a change. I needed to get away and start my Queens College experience with a newfound attitude and outlook on life and on my life. That summer, I found a college that I wish I would have known about when leaving high school. That college is called Berklee College of Music.
I've always wanted to pursue the kind of music I would sing in my room for fun. Leaving high school, I only knew about music programs either geared towards classical music or musical theater. Studying genre's such as pop, jazz, folk, R&B and so many more, were a thing of fantasy and according to my teachers in both high school, and college were genres that weren't considered "real music."
That summer, I found Berklee's Vocal Summit Program and Stage Performance Workshop online and begged my parents to allow me to attend. After much convincing which basically means pleading with them and bringing Berklee up every two minutes, they eventually said yes. Both programs altogether lasted all of a week and a half, but that week and a half changed my life. I found musicians who were just as passionate as me. There was nothing else that they wanted to do and I found comfort on the Berklee campus. Walking around and hearing music through the streets and in every hall of Berklee's buildings made me feel inspired and that feeling couldn't have been needed any more than it was at that moment in my life. When I completed the programs, I knew that I wanted to audition for the school itself. After seeing the immense talent of the Berklee student body, and after thoroughly searching online and reading about the acceptance rate for Berklee (which at the time was 18%) I became intimidated. I read about how the school is 70% male and only 30% female and I continued to find more and more reasons as to why I wouldn't be accepted. I thought to myself, that the overall acceptance is extremely low and on top of that, I'm a classically trained singer, who only sings Pop/R&B/Folk music in my room. I'm a lyricist/poet that's never shown anyone my work and i'm also an artist with an immense amount of stage fright, so there was no way I would be accepted. Therefore, I convinced myself that I was going to audition, it would be for fun and for the experience of auditioning. I would audition for a school as prestigious as Berklee so I can know what it would be like to be under that kind of pressure and so I can gain feedback and work on my artistry.
When I got home, I found out that the audition was on my 20th Birthday and decided to spend it in Boston. Until the day I left again for Boston, I took voice lessons and prepared an Ingrid Michaelson piece called "Maybe" for my audition. The song was very repetitive and I knew that I could do a lot with it to stand out, changing the end into jazz improvisation and my own jumble of words from the song. When I got to Berklee, I could feel my nerves swarming through my body but I tried my best to remember why I was doing this.
The audition took place at 921 Boylston Street, Boston, Mass. This is a main building on campus that houses many of the main offices on campus, the student activities center, as well as the admissions office and the David Friend Recital Hall, which was turned into a waiting area for the auditionee's. I first checked in at a table outside the recital hall and was lead into the hall to wait for a student employee to would bring me to a private room where I could warm up and was given 15 minutes to learn a few sight reading examples. When the student came back 15 minutes later to lead me to my audition, I remember thinking to myself that I should just have fun. That I shouldn't worry about if I get in or not because, I was going to another school in the Fall and that this was supposed to be fun. I promised myself that no matter the outcome, I would leave that audition being proud of myself for trying and that I would celebrate the rest of my day with parents who support and love me.
Walking into the audition was less scary than I thought it would be. There was a very friendly man who smiled and introduced himself right away and a woman who said hello but seemed to be ready to take notes on my audition since she had a computer sitting in front of her ready to go. The kind man asked me what song I would be singing and then popped my CD into the speaker system which had my instrumental track for "Maybe" on it. We started off with my song and although I had sung it a thousand times before and although I had my voice completely warmed up and ready to go, my performance did not go as expected. I knew that my entire body was shaking which made my vocal chords shake as well and there was nothing I could do. I was trapped in a body that was more nervous than I had anticipated and I didn't know how to control it. All the shaking and racing thoughts made my performance a bit shaky and made my vocal chords shake to a point where I started to crack and loose control over my voice. I knew that I had bombed my one time to prove myself worthy of Berklee. The only thing I could do was try to move on and so that was exactly what I tried to do.
I finished my song, made eye contact with the judges and smiled. I ran through the sight reading with a decent turn out and did an improvisation section (I had to improv over both a jazz progression and a blues progression) and had a call and response session. I then had to identify qualities of chords (major, minor, augmented, diminished) which went pretty well. I knew that I was still shaking a bit throughout the rest of the audition but I did the best I could and that was all I could hope for. When the audition came to a close, I thanked the judges for seeing me and wished them a good rest of the day. I grabbed my things and began to walk out the door, sure that I would go to the bathroom, cry for 5 minutes and then enjoy the rest of my day, but then, all of a sudden, with one of my legs in the room and one leg out the door, the woman who was taking notes the entire time and who had only said hello and goodbye to me, asked me to come back into the room. I was unsure as to why but of course I went back in. She went on to say "So I see that you graduated high school in 2010, what have you been doing for the last two years?" I went on to tell her that I had been at Hofstra University studying Opera Performance and pursuing a Bachelors of Science Degree in Music in their music program and that I had been studying classical music both in school and privately for the last 10 years. She then went on to ask me to do the last thing I thought I would ever do at this particular audition.
When I went to this audition it was August 11th, 2012 and I had not practiced, nor had I taken private voice lessons all summer. I had avoided singing opera even in the house by myself or for my parents because classical music had become more of a chore than a passion. So, when this woman asked me to sing 30 seconds of any classical piece, I was shocked and unprepared. Being able to sing opera takes a certain kind of warm up regiment, which I had not done since my opera voice and the voice I have when singing pop music, are very different, (I was not going to warm up before the audition as if I was going to sing opera when I was going to sing a pop song). I didn't have any instrumental music and I wasn't even sure I remembered the words to Any song at all even with years of studying this art craft. The awe of being called back into the room when I thought I blew my shot, and to have someone who teaches at a world renowned contemporary music college and is judging me based on my voice alone was shocking to me. I drew a blank but of course I didn't turn her down. About 15 seconds later I somehow managed to remember one piece. I announced my song, "Plaisir D'amour a french aria by Johann Paul Martini." It wasn't a very complicated piece but I knew that it showed off my voice and at the time, it was the only song I could think of. It was a piece I learned years before and hadn't sung in a very long time and so, with no idea what note the piece started on, I started to sing. This was when something amazing happened.
As the piece went on, words flowed from my mouth. I remembered every last one of them with the correct pronunciation and I sung every note with ease. After singing opera for as long as I had, singing this style felt natural and I didn't need to worry about a thing. I let each high note ring out and I was able to get into the music. Therefore, this woman wanting me to sing 30 seconds, turned into four and a half minutes, until the entire piece was complete. When I finished, I looked at her and the man who had auditioned me. They both were smiling and the woman went on to say, "Thank you very much." And that was it. There was nothing else to do for them, so I left.
Walking out of that room, I had no idea what to expect from my audition. There was no clear sign if I got in or not and so I moved on. I went into my interview feeling decent with my aria performance and I went on to tell the interviewer about how I wanted to look into a double major in performance and film scoring. How I have been studying music throughout high school and college and how there was no discussion about what i'd do in college. Music was the only logical choice. I told him about how I went to the two summer programs, and how I loved every minute of them. I knew that my interview went well and I genuinely enjoyed talking to the interviewer.
When the interview was over, I went to find my parents. Their phones were off but I knew that they would be on the next street over (Newbury Street) walking around and looking at shops, so that's where I went. I found them and told them about my audition. All I remember next is my dad turning to me in the middle of the sidewalk on Newbury Street and saying that I got in because I sang opera for them. That I showed them that I have been studying and that I can be put on the spot and successfully pull through. That I showed them I had discipline to learn a difficult art-form and prove that it was something I enjoy. My dad was right, singing opera was something I enjoyed and not doing so for a few months made the experience of singing in that way again a good experience. However, I remember thinking that maybe I had a shot of getting into my dream school but mostly that it was probably not going to happen because why would a contemporary, legendary school like Berklee take an opera singer? I didn't see how and I told my mom "I probably didn't get in but it was a good experience I won't ever forget."
The rest of the day was spent shopping and out for a birthday dinner and then the next day, we went home. I started school that Fall at Queens College in Flushing Queens, NY and started studying in their Voice Performance program. I began taking lessons again and forming a more positive and exciting experience in my college career. I moved into the Queens College dormitory where I soon met a girl who lived down the hall from me. We became close right away and today she is my best friend and sister my sorority Delta Phi Epsilon. That semester I began my process to become a sister and started to enjoy singing again. I had forgotten about my audition for Berklee and didn't worry about getting into that college or not. I was just starting to find my place at Queens. On September 15th, 2012, I was looking through my emails and instead of thoroughly looking through them, I selected all of them to be deleted. I skimmed through the emails once before I was going to delete them, and saw that an email was from Berklee College of Music and the subject was "Your Application to Berklee College of Music." I hadn't thought about Berklee and assumed I didn't get in, so, seeing this email was a bit confusing to me. I had never been the person to get the solos in high school or get any parts in shows or any solos in college, so over time my confidence had been gnawed away. When I opened the email and read "Congratulations, Hilary!" I automatically knew that I had been accepted to Berklee. I couldn't believe what I was reading and so naturally, I began to cry, scream and jump up and down. I thanked G-d for this opportunity and I called my parents right away crying straight through our whole conversation. I even ran down to my (now) best friend's dorm room at the time and even though I hardly knew her at that point, told her that I got in and was beaming from cheek to cheek.
I will never forget the moment I found out that I got into Berklee College of Music. It will be a moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life and it will remind me that dreams do come true.
Today, two and a half years after my Berklee audition, I am a dual major in Vocal Performance and Songwriting and a Spoken Word Poetry Minor and I am loving every second at Berklee. Berklee is more than what I was expecting and although it is a very challenging school it is also very rewarding! All the professors push you to be your best and there's nothing I want more than to succeed in this crazy music industry of ours. Berklee is giving me the tools to be the best and I will not let this opportunity slip through my fingers. It really is a dream come true for me and Berklee has not only made me much more confident in myself but has also made my view of the future much brighter and full of opportunity!
I am so thankful for my little piece of heaven.
Until Next Time,
Hil Gold
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